Motherhood is NOT for sissies...

Why don't we talk about how hard it is to be a first time mom (or a mom in general)?
Today I cried...a lot...

Perhaps it is because I am transitioning from academia, independence, and the beat of my own rhythm to being the lifeline to my precious son. The "simplicity" of diaper changing, laundry, and breastfeeding produce a long suffering I never knew existed...until now.

My body slowly heals..damn sore nipples and achy bones remind me everyday that to become a mom is to become a warrior. Yes we are tender and provide a safe nurturing environment but we also know the war of self sacrifice. Regardless if your child is calm or colic, self sacrifice is required. I find myself wondering, "how will I shower today?" or "It is already 1pm and I have yet to eat anything." or "It's not a big deal that I have worn the same clothes for 3 days." Nap times have become sacred, for they feel like the only time I can do anything (hence how I am able to blog right now!)

And for the icing on the cake...HORMONES. They are real and they are legit. We moms have known hormones since the day we started our periods. Hormones are a part of me that I accept and embrace despite the irrational thoughts and over exaggerations that may come. Thoughts such as, "I don't want anything to do with that baby right now." or "I think I will just get in the car and drive for hours away from my house." or dare I say, "I am going to shake this baby if he/she cries for one more minute." I used to judge parents but now I KNOW personally the challenge of being a parent. This is why we need a village...I NEED OTHERS! I need others to share both their challenges and joys of being a parent. We need to provide others with a safe environment to share that it's okay you might not like your baby right now. This is my attempt to share bits and pieces of my raw thoughts on being a new mom. Like I mentioned before, being a mom produces a long suffering I never knew existed.