Half a Year Later

It is a quiet night. James is out playing poker with the guys and lil' buddy is snoozing away in his crib. It has been awhile since I have felt reflective AND by myself to give time to these thoughts. So after gobbling down some peanut butter waffles for dinner, I am able to sit and soak it all in. Well first off, Jamison is 6 months old today. I think I say this everyday but he continues to amaze me with how quickly he is learning things. He now sees something he wants and reaches out to grab it. He has also ventured into the world of food, as he has now tried rice cereal and sweet potatoes. Our favorite game is who can make the silliest sound which ends up in laughter. James has proved himself to be the winner so far. Although Jamison makes some interesting sounds these days...especially out of his rear end :) His latest sound is kind of like a gurgle in the back of his throat. Almost as if he is learning to speak French. Every day is met with new things. I am trying my best to enjoy the adventure. I feel like I spend too much time and energy toward the "perfect" schedule or all the other things that I pretend I have control over but really don't. I am not sure why I think that control=peace or contentment. I think I am on to something about embracing the chaos and COMPLETELY relinquishing this perception of order. I used to think that I had a go with the flow personality. Ever since having a baby, perhaps when I got married, I have been noticing this tendency to want things how I think they should be. What kind of adventure is that? I know I want to continually learn so why am I trying to make things the same. I know that I have been able to be present and enjoy lots in the last 6 months but I also know that there is more that I am to enjoy. I am tired. Tired of putting so much effort in making things "right" or even comfortable. Today I have made a commitment to being more aware of these tendencies and I am looking forward to embracing the chaos, the adventure, the unexpected. There is something beautiful waiting for us when we can let go and just be.

Jamison's first experience in the snow...snowman and sledding!


We got these amazing alphabet cards from our housemate Liane. Jamison loves them!!


First sweet potato experience!! Can you tell if he likes it or not?!!