People are hated; people hate themselves; people hate others
Each week after reading through the assigned articles for my ethics class I am overwhelmed with the question, “Can I do this work?” I am reminded of the accountability that this profession asks of me. To not only reflect on my own personal experiences but also the core of how I have come to believe certain things of God, humanity, and myself.
Just the other night, my husband and I were having a conversation with a bi-racial couple over the word nigger. Even typing the word is uncomfortable for me. I was beyond grateful that we were able to have a conversation, as I gained insight with my friends. Yet in the moment I realized how I had not embraced and recognized my friend’s black identity. I suppose I could say that I had a sobering moment where our differences were acknowledge. Though I can say that our differences of skin color and all the experiences that come with that has never gotten in the way of our friendship, I see my failure in not recognizing how different we have experienced life because of this truth.
In my attempt to become aware of my own cultural values and biases, I have become more aware of my naivety as well. My husband and I intentionally moved into a diverse neighborhood in Tacoma, only to realize our impact and influence in the process of gentrification. I have so much to learn and I think this may only come from being in relationship with who see the world differently. De La Torre’s writes about this well that “Relationships with each other, and God, become a source for moral guidance, capable of debunking the social structures erected and subsequently normalized by the dominant culture.”
After this week, I am struggling with the realm of the unspeakable around me. As I get in touch with how others hate me, how I hate myself, and how I hate others, I am hopeful for the opportunities that may come about. I am beginning to understand the kinds of hate I am most familiar with and what is beneath that scares the shit out of me. I pray that this reflective work helps to stretch my capacity, as White puts it, to bear witness with others in helping them find a way to survive being hated and hating.
“The very identity of those claiming to be Christian becomes defined by their relationship to their God and to their neighbor.”
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