It is a drizzly Friday afternoon and I am feeling contemplative. Probably why I have decided to finally blog...it has been awhile. The last few months will be difficult to sum up but I know it is important to reflect on this experience. First of all, thank God there are 40 weeks to prepare. It seems as if James and I talked about beginning our family with the expectation of it happening the next day. It has been a beautiful process of layers and learning about myself, my husband, and the world we live in. I am grateful that God knows what he is doing by giving us the gift of time and process. James and I were able to get away to a little Mexican fishing town where there was not much to do but be together, eat, and reflect. James and I have been writing in a journal to our babe. I would like to share some blurbs...I find myself re-reading these entries often with both emotions of joy and apprehension. We often only like to talk about the good and "happy." But the truth is, I often ask myself if it is the wisest choice to bring a child into a world that has such potential for harm. It is something I choose to honestly wrestle with. Here are some of our thoughts:
"When you read this you will have a name, a personality, even a story to tell. But, since your mom and I don't even know your gender yet, we've resorted to calling you 'shim.'"
"In the last 3 weeks I have begun to feel you swim, move, and flutter around. Your movement only excites me more at the thought of your growth and one day holding you in my arms."
"I can't wait to express, tell, and show you of this love. You will have a whole life to explore this amazing truth. Shim your life is on purpose, you have been knitted in my womb for a greater story. There is a God who loves you and will know you more than your daddy and I will."
"I can't wait until mid July when you are born! I already love the idea of you and we have more than 5 months till you're supposed to be born...I guess I will just have to wait."
"We have some exciting news we found out last week, you are a boy...I'm sure you already figured this out by now. I am already praying that you will be free to do, play, dance, sing, walk, run, or skip to the beat God gives you!"
6 weeks
8 weeks
12 weeks
17 weeks
19 weeks
20 weeks
22 weeks
